Embracing Uncertainty

Photo Credit: Antonio Feregrino on Unsplash

January 20, 2023 | Montréal, Québec

This time of the year is about planning, goal setting, and ambition. Everyone has a new year’s resolution. Don’t worry if you don’t have one; there’s always someone with advice on how to start the new year, and a plan to help you achieve it.

I’m not above it all. One of my favourite parts of the new year is getting my agenda. I love planning out my days and weeks, and I know goal setting is incredibly valuable. At the same time, sometimes it feels like there’s a lot of pressure to have a plan, a goal and be ambitious for the next chapter.

My ultimate team swimming in a lake after a tournament 
Photo Credit: Chloe Merritt

Maybe it’s the new year. Maybe it’s my annual trip home to Vancouver for the holidays. In the most loving way possible, the way my family checks in with my life in Montréal involves a pretty standard interview process. It’s like an annual report for all my aunties and uncles, but I’m reviewing your personal life, your school, work, and social life. How did it go? What’s going on right now? What are your plans? Maybe it’s also that I just graduated from university, and I’m figuring out where I go from here. I want to have an A+ interview answer prepared when my grandma asks me what’s next because I want to look ambitious and accomplished, and most of all, I want to reassure her that I am on top of my game.

Whatever the reason, I am feeling the pressure to be confident in the face of personal uncertainty. With graduating, applying to law schools, and possibly moving, there’s a lot about my future that I haven't mapped out yet. Stressing myself out over plans I can’t make doesn’t help anyone, much less me. If you’re in the same boat this year, I’m reminding us all: it’s okay not to know.

“It’s like an annual report for all my aunties and uncles, but I’m reviewing your personal life, your school, work, and social life. How did it go? What’s going on right now? What are your plans?”

My friend Sophia and I with our beloved film cameras
Photo Credit: Chloe Merritt

So, this year my plan is not to plan—no new year’s resolution for me and no big plans. I mean, I guess choosing not to plan is a plan in itself. But alas, a tiger can’t change its stripes. At the end of the day, I love productivity and planning, and it can feel uncomfortable to go without one. Choosing not to plan is an intentional way to step back from obsessively stressing over the future. Framing my new year as a choice to embrace uncertainty allows me to enjoy the journey.

This year I have really enjoyed taking photos; I’ve been able to catalogue my experiences and build stronger memories. Taking pictures of time spent with friends, on solo adventures in Montréal, and trips away from the city is my way of slowing down. Photography is the opposite of obsessively planning; it reminds me to stop and appreciate my current moment. Later, I also look back and can appreciate all that I’ve done in a month or a year and can take a moment to be proud of what I’ve accomplished and experienced.

If you’re also a young person living in limbo, if you’ve also just run the gauntlet of annual reporting to friends and family, if you also feel pressure to have a plan, know that you’re not alone. It’s not a unique experience (at least from the TikToks I’ve seen), so I’m at least trying to embrace uncertainty as part of my current moment.

Author
Chloe Merritt
Community Liaison Lead